sa Angib, Sta. Ana

mahirap ang nag-iisa
sa gitna ng kalikasang napakaganda
kaya halina
sa Angib, sa may Santa Ana
pagkat taglay na ganda
talagang kaaya-aya!












many thanks to Mrs. Lara,
the wife of the current Governor of Cagayan,
for hosting our trip there last year. may God bless them always.

Atoy's Vows

In the Society of Jesus, we perpetually profess the Vows of Poverty, Chastity and Obedience after the experience of Novitiate. I professed mine more than a year ago. Atoy made his last Friday, the 16th of December 2005 at the Oratory of the Loyola House of Studies. Fr. Jojo, our rector and the preacher during the Vows, articulated succinctly the relevance of these vows packaged in two gifts.

"First, the gift of conviction. The gift of conviction is given to the world of postmodernity, of fast-shifting changes, indeterminate futures and wavering principles. It is a world that says that objective truth is dead, that lasting values are passé, and that all we have are short-lived preferences that are always relative and always easy to give up. The vows pronounces that it is still possible to say yes, in a world that has gotten used to maybe’s and we’ll-sees, that there are still absolute values that withstand the shifts in human history, and that the absolute truth is that there is a God who cares and who inserts himself into our lives in a definitive way, and invites us to a profound unity, and so become less selfish, less greedy, and less controlling and become the shining and burning lamp that John the Baptist is in today’s Gospel, as pointer to the one true light, Jesus the Christ. And that is our conviction.

"But there is a second gift – the gift of gentleness. The gift of gentleness is given to the world of efficiency and managerial precision. It is a world with clear benchmarks of success, measured in terms of outputs and income and quality, that insist on making everything fit in into packaged plans and well-prepared schemes. The vows tell such a world that it is still possible to relax and take it easy, and have faith in a God who sees more than we will ever see, who invites and never imposes, who can wait even if we dilly-dally and waver and allow our fears and anxieties to get the better of us sometimes. The vows tell the world that chastity and poverty and obedience are not about what we cannot do, but about what more we are willing to do, because of the great gifts we have received in such overflow. And so, we can afford to be gentle on ourselves and on others."

Truly, the Vows are gifts, gifts from the Lord Himself. Our mere strength would not guarantee us of success in this field, or as others would put it, career. The Vows are gifts freely given by the Lord and I believe that would be enough grace to help us persevere and enable us to share our lives to others with great joy and much love.

May God bless Atoy. May God bless us always.

paborito to the max!!!

salamat kay Lhotta ng OMIOD sa isang supot ng sampalok.

Soleil

Francis thought that the man I am with in the picture is my brother. Biologically, he is not. But in the Society of Jesus, he is. He is Pedro Chia. I was a year ahead of him in the Novitiate. He grew up in Malaysia; studied in Taiwan; worked in Singapore. If my memory serves me right, he finished his university studies in Texas. I think his field was information technology. He joined the Society of Jesus in Taiwan after his "religious experience" at the World Youth day in Canada. This was taken in Soleil when they still had a branch in Greenbelt. I am not sure what happened but the last time I passed by there, there was already a different resto.

Pity, I love that place.

isang munting alay

taglay pa rin ba ang alaala ng
halos magdadalawang taong nakalipas?
ng minsang naghari ang gabi
sa isang munting kapilya
ng Kabanal-banalang Puso ni Hesus
sa bayan ng Bagong Liwanag
mga ginoo sa nobisyado'y
nag-alay ng awit
sa mga pamilya't
sa mga kaibigan
dahil sa paskong papalapit
taglay na init sa mga mahal
dito sa mundong ibabaw
taglay din namang hindi maikubli
kaya ang mga himig na taglay
inalay sa mga mahal sa buhay

Errol sings Y.M.C.A.!!!

Of Scars, Of Seattle's Best

At Seattle’s Best the other evening, I had a not-too-late-night-conversation with some good friends – Aldo, Pao and Emoy. While the conversation was firing up, Aldo caught sight of a scar on my left leg. “Where did you get that?” he chortled. I looked at my eight-stitches-scar. I tried to recall an experience of two decades past. And, I narrated a history I almost but have not quite forgotten.

However, when the wounds of life scarred us deeply, with a pain abysmal – how would one look at, recall and narrate the story behind those scars? For a sexually abused child, how does she stare at the face of a stranger? For a husband who just lost his love one of thirty-five years in a battle with cancer, how does the sound of his voice echo inside the very room they made love in for ages past? For a mother who in her arms embraced the tortured, mangled body of her dying son, how would the odor of her son’s clothes tang as she launders those shirts? How does one make sense in this routine of fear, in this routine of loneliness, in this routine of angst? Honestly speaking, I do not know. I am voiceless.

Sino ang mas mukhang bata?

Recreate

The morning of our renovation of the vows...

Re-create our spirits, we ask You!
Grant us, we beg of You:
renewed vigor;
revitalized strength.
That all the more we may carry our crosses
with love ever faithful;
with faith vivified.
That our features, faces magnify
the love You have for us;
the trust You have given us.
Give us, then, that grace, we beg You.
Re-create our spirits, we ask You!

The Silence of God

There are times when ones heart wells out ones pains and ones vulnerabilities in front of ones God. There are times too that one just finds God too numb and too empty for words. His silence pains one like a dagger piercing through ones heart. It can feel so lonely. It can lead one to distraught. It can distress the soul.

I felt lonely. I was distraught. I was distressed too.

It happened in a past not so distant. It happened on the very afternoon we renovated our vows. It happened two Mondays ago.

My mother paid me a visit. She intimated to me some of her pressing concerns at home. She shared her troubles and worries.

I love my mother very much. And, I felt so helpless.

When we parted ways, I ran to the chapel. There I cried and shed tears.

I was afraid. I felt distraught. I was distressed.

I was anguishing. I was crying to my God.

God’s silence can be deafening.

I felt lonely.

“Trust in the Lord forever!” Isaiah proclaimed. “Trust in the Lord forever!”

“Teach me to trust You!!!” I prayed. “Teach me to trust You!!!”

Your silence haunts me. I am scared. I am afraid. But Lord, teach me to trust You. Teach me to trust You, I pray You. I burn in my nakedness. I fire up in my very vulnerabilities. Teach me to trust You.

I will listen in the shadow of Your silence.

I will wait for Your Word.

In the stillness of this dying night, I will stay and remain. I will stay waiting for You. I will remain and stand on this ground. This very ground on which You once said, “Do not be afraid. I love you. I will always be with you. Do not be afraid. Trust me.”

I will stay and I will remain waiting for that sweet embrace in the stillness of Your silence.

A Mere Illusion

I got this one from a friend way back from my College days.

If you watch the above images from your seat in front of the computer, Mr.Angry is on the left, and Mrs.Calm is on the right.

Get up from your seat, and move back a couple of feet (about 6 feet), and PRESTO!! They switch places!!

I believe this illusion was created by Phillippe G. Schyns and Aude Oliva of the University of Glasgow.

This proves that we may not be seeing what is actually there.

At the Punta

To see two waters raging at each other --
the Pacific's wrath,
the China Sea's anger.
One wonders, when peace and stillness would come?



To be flooded by life's turmoils
To be submerged by ones own boils
I listen to myself,
when would you come --
peace and stillness?



But then, a voice comes
whispering to ones ears
"Be still and be quiet;
I am here. It is I.
Be not afraid."

A Piano Music

I met Kate Ortiz when I, together with Chrys and Eric John, gave a retreat to Musmos last semestral break. Kate has a brother, Angelo. I met him once but I heard his music a lot of times. I listened to eight of his composition, thanks to Kate. There was so much passion in the way he played his music. He glided the eighty-eight white and black keys like a butterfly floating from one flower to the other. His music did not wax on pretension. It reflected a soul -- tranquil, sublime -- yet, was able to maintain a spirit that was both elegant and bouyant. Listening to his music, at least for me, reminded me of the word serenity.

Last November 9, Angelo launched his first album at the Podium in Ortigas. The title was Serenity, the piano music of Angelo Ortiz. I was not able to go there for I was in Tuguegarao with my Community. Good luck to Angelo.

One Happy Thought

I received a message from Errol a few days ago. He shared how happy he was for all the wonderful blessings he received lately. He recounted too how he saw the changes that occured in each of us, his classmates.


The eight of us -- Shio, Monching, Rai, Errol, Koko, Bong, Chester and I -- were together since Pre-noviate days. Our paths merged during the second semester at the Arvisu House. Shio branched from finance; Monching a physical therapist; Rai a Dominican-trained philosopher; Errol was a Jesuit Volunteer; Koko graduated with a degree in Psychology; and, our two engineers -- Bong and Chester.

When our roads did merge, life was never the same. Carrying with us different backgrounds, various stories and a wide horizon of quirks -- our point of convergence was a singular desire. That is the desire to know, to love and to serve our Lord.

That is for me, one happy thought. The thought that in this road that I am taking I have friends to share a laugh with; I have friends to break bread with; I have friends to lean on -- the struggle becomes light. For Christ becomes more real. It is here where I will write less, and let somebody else speak more. For GMH penned,

"I say more: the just man justices;
Keeps grace: that keeps all his goings graces;
Acts in God's eye what in God's eye he is -
Christ - for Christ play in ten thousand places,
Lovely in limbs, and lovely in eyes not his
To the Father through the features of"

my
friends'
faces.

this one is for kurabsili

one firefly
in the night
shimmers

one xavier olin
forever
scintillates

and i can not but stand
in utter shame
for truly olin's light
brings sight

"ephpheta, ephpheta"
is xave's song for life


check this one out: kurabsili.blogspot.com
the blogger is a very holy man.
no pun intended.

To Pen Or Not To Pen

When left to ourselves, we rather engage with the fancy of things. Fun, laughter, cheer, and, for some, a good beer – these are the things we hold dear. To be beholden by something beyond ourselves and to pen it – that was not something spontaneous for us. It was almost a task, at times Herculean.

When forced to take the dip in the depths, we break our minds and raise our pens. And with fun, laughter, cheer, and, a good beer, our pens pin on that pure, white piece of bond. It pierces. And it reveals that one singular reality – we can write. Yes, we can write – infantile though it may be. But allow us to share that breaking experience. It was like a virginal rupture. It was bloody but very fulfilling.

Watch out for the release of our batch's porfolio.

31 October 2005

Exhaustion, sadness, loneliness, gloom, fatigue
approached me like a thief the other night.
I was overwhelmed and caught off-guard.
I felt, for the love of Pablo N.,
like a cherry tree in the dead of winter night.
It was dark, stark and bleak.
I felt lonely.

But it was at this particular, singular moment
when the best of friends unfold unknowingly.
It was at this particular, singular moment
when simple gestures –
a tap at the back,
a “kamustaka na?”,
a sudden “bulaga’t habulan” in the corridor –
become treasured, relished moments.

I thank the Lord for them.
I thank the Lord for through them
I felt like a cherry tree in one spring morning.

R&R 2005

Our Community left for Baguio for this semester's villa.
It had been a wonderful experience to rest, relax and to revitalize friendships.

R&R 2005 2

More Pictures of My Brother's Wedding 2

More Pictures of My Brother's Wedding

For the love of a brother!

May God bless your marriage and the love you have for each other.

For the as****e in our lives...

"Everything that irritates us about others
can lead us to an understanding of ourselves."

Carl Gustav Jung

For the Hungry

Let us pray.

Do not take away the hunger of our souls
or let us fill it with spiritual trifles,
ready to had,
sweet to the taste,
but good for only a moment’s satisfaction.

Deepen our hunger.
Enkindle our desire.
Come to us in the longing of our hearts,
for in our emptiness You are present.

Les Petit Jesuit

Last June all my computer files from the Novitiate up to the night of May 31, 2005 were inadvertently deleted. All my papers, reflections, write-ups for the past five years were gone at a press of a finger. But last night, I unearthed a soft copy of a sharing I made for our family when I was a first year novice at the Sacred Heart Novitiate. It was August 18, 2002, one Sunday afternoon.


Il est tres simple: on ne voit bien qu’avec le couer. L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux.

Pardon me for my too pedestrian use of the French language. But I think it best describes my current disposition about the Novitiate life. I lifted it up from St. Exupery’s Les Petit Prince when translated it goes something to this effect: “What is essential is invisible to the eyes. It is only through the heart that one can see rightly.”

My dear parents, eighty long days and eighty sleepless nights passed unnoticed from that eventful shutting, closing, and bolting of Sacred Heart’s Portals. That simple ceremony takes on a very meaningful and very moving life representation. A mother of my fellow primi brother has this to say about that event, “Masakit! Bakit kailangan pang ibagsak ang pinto? Puwede namang simpleng pamamaalam lang. Masakit iyon!”

I for my part felt sad. Sad because I parted ways with the very people whom I love very much and tenderly. I will always keep in my heart the support and love with which my parents gave me. And, seeing my Mama trying to be happy for my decision, made a dent in my heart. Alvin’s tight embrace; Apple’s tears; all these made me feel sad. It is hard to say goodbye.

But the question that surfaces for the time being is, “May pagbabago po bang nangyari? Has there been a significant change in your son? Kamusta po si Mark, si Errol, si Koko?

May mga pagbabago pong nangyari. Tita Emy might remark, “Si Shio nangitim ng konti at pumayat.” Or, Bambi might say, “Si Kuya Chester hindi pumayat.” But my dear friends what I am referring to is the change with which the eye is blinded from. It is the on voit bien qu’avec le couer. L’essentiel est invisible pour les yeux. It is the transformation with which only the heart can see rightly.

Masakit man pong tanggapin sa aming pagkalalake, we shed tears. Yes, we cried because we miss you. Yes, we cried because we miss the happy moments we had with you, our love ones, our precious ones. Tears also flowed from our eyes when Bong-Bong’s father breathed his last. We cried. Umiyak po kami. Humagulgol po kami.

But for the most time, we cried because we have had a taste of God’s divine embrace. The simple whisper of the wind as it kisses our faces, brings us and leads us closer to our God. Even the sound of our cracking voices during morning Masses, consoles us and edifies us. And yes, we found God. We did find him in our ordinary duties – in our de more.

Another transformative experience is to be brought face-to-face with the thing that we fear the most – ourselves. We can no longer escape our problems, our concerns, our issues. If before we have at our pleasurable disposal Orange in Makati Ave. or Suburbia in Malate, and, probably for some of us, Class Mates and Pegasus in Quezon Ave., now all traffic leads to the in most of our being – ourselves, our fears, our anxieties.

Nakakapagod pong kamutin at kalikutin at kalkalin ang mga bagay na gumugulo at bumabagabag sa amin. Mas madaling takasan. Mas madaling talikuran. Mas madaling kalimutan. But our call is not to take the easy path. It is to journey on the road less traversed. This journey is continually inviting us to be aware and to be in touch with our own brokenness, our own woundedness, our own baho, our own basura.

We are not being trained to be masochists. I think Fr. Horacio dela Costa, SJ says it best in his reply to the question of what is it to be a Jesuit. “It is to know that one is a sinner, yet called to be a companion of Jesus, as Ignatius was; Ignatius, who begged the Blessed Virgin to place him with her son, and who then saw the Father himself ask Jesus, carrying his cross, to take this pilgrim into his company.”

Noviceship is a very challenging experience. But the encounter with the Master suffices. For what is essential is not the hurdles or the burden that comes in our way. It is in knowing that Christ reigns in us, in our hearts is enough grace for us to praise, reverence, and serve God, our Lord.

Of Dusts, Of Memories

I received a phone call at past eleven last night from a good friend. The conversation was not that long but one of the fruits of the small chat was for me to check on my photo albums during my college days. I had to open my old baul to do this. With dust on the surface of each album, memories surfaced. It was grimy and grubby but the pictures and recollections are quite comforting.

Here is a poem I got from an old friend when we were about to part ways. This was in March of 1998. It was penned by a certain Amanda Bradley. It is entitled Keeping in Touch With You.

When good friends find themselves apart,
they still are close, at least in heart
because their friendship means so very much.
They think about each other still
because they care and always will.
That’s why they need to always stay in touch.
For truest friends can understand
that friendship really can’t be planned.
It simply happens – when two people give,
it’s built of sharing, joy, and smiles,
and crosses time, and even miles –
a gift to cherish every day you live.

For tomorrow’s Mass, I will remember all my friends in my prayer. May God bless them always!

Para sa Isang Taong Umiibig

Para sa Isang Taong Umiibig
Ika-13 Linggo sa Karaniwang Panahon
Zone 7 De la Costa Housing, Barangka
26 Hunyo 2005

1. Manatili sa pagkaka-upo ang sinumang hindi pa nakakaranas na umibig. Kung sa iyong palagay ni minsa’y hindi ka dinaanan ng pag-ibig, huwag kang tumayo. Ngunit kung maski minsan dumampi sa iyo ang karanasan ng pag-ibig, huwag magatubiling tumayo. Inaanyayahan ko ang sinuman sa inyo na nakaranas na umibig o ibigi’y tumayo.

2. Hindi ba’t kay sarap umibig?

3. Nuong nakaraang gabi ng Biyernes, kasama ko si Bro. Weng na nanuod ng Nasaan Ka Man. Sa unang bahagi ng pelikula, ipinakita’t ipinamalas ang lambinga’t suyuan ng dalawang irog – Si Claudine at Jericho. Sa piling ng bawat isa, animo’y walang bukas. Sa bawat hawak ng kamay at mga labi, ang sandali’y parang walang hanggan. Sa bawat tibok ng kanilang mga puso, para bagang sila lamang ang nabubuhay sa mundo.

4. Hindi ba’t kay sarap umibig?

5. Sa taong umiibig, hindi ba’t may kasabihan, “hahamakin ang lahat masunod ka lamang.” Sa isang mangingibig, ilalaan ang buhay makamit lamang at mapasaya ang sintang irog. Isang kabaliwan nga ang mamatay na walang saysay. Pero sa isang umiibig walang hihigit sa talino ng kabaliwan ng pagmamahal. Maski ang sariling buhay, iaalay.

6. Ito ang yaya ng Ebanghelyo sa atin ngayon. Isang anyaya na sa wikang ingles ay tinatawag na radical discipleship. Ang radikal na pagsunod na ito ay ang yaya na umibig sa Diyos. Ang umibig sa Kanya. Narinig din natin sa Ebanghelyo ngayon ang kalidad ng pag-ibig na ito – una Siya sa lahat; una Siyang iibigin.

7. “Ang umiibig sa ama o sa ina na higit sa akin ay hindi karapatdapat sa akin. At ang umiibig sa anak na lalaki o babae na higit sa akin ay hindi karapatdapat sa akin.”

8. Ngunit hindi madaling umibig sa Kanya.

9. Nuong ako’y papatapos ng Kolehiyo. Lumabas ako ng seminaryong pinasukan ko. Panganay kasi akong anak at namumutakti ang problema sa aming bahay. Pinansiyal ang puno’t dulo ng mga suliranin sa aming tahanan. Miski hindi ako sinabihan ng mga magulang kong lumabas, mahirap tanggapin kasi na nag-hihirap ang mga mahal ko sa buhay at ako nama’y maginhawa at komportable ang pamumuhay.

10. Lumabas ako. Tinalikuran ang buhay na alam kong gustong-gusto ko. Nakapagtrabaho ako sa isang bangko. Naging maayos naman ang aking buhay sa bangko. Naka-tulong ako sa pag-aaral ng aking kapatid. Naibsan ang hirap ng aking mga magulang. Naging maunlad ang aking buhay.

11. Pero hindi ako masaya. Alam ko kasi ang talagang gusto ko. Ang maglingkod sa Diyos bilang isang pari, bilang isang lingkod. Pilit kong tinatakasan itong tawag Niya. Nakakatakot kasi. Pinilit kong maging masaya. Mahirap magtago sa mga kinakatakutan ko. Ang hirap malunod sa mga pangamba – kakainin kang buhay.

12. Hindi nagtagal hinarap ko rin ang aking sarili. Natuto akong sumagot sa Kanyang tawag. Ang sarap palang umibig sa Diyos. Magtiwala ka lang sa Kanya. Hindi Siya pabaya. Hindi ka Niya iiwanan. Sa totoo lang, Siya kasi yung unang umibig. At wala nang hihigit pa sa pag-ibig na mula sa Kanya.

Of Goodness, Of Shadows

Here is a summary of an e-mail exchange I made with a good friend last week. He was looking for Fr. Nudas, a fellow Jesuit. The one in italics are from my friend.


Galing nga pala ako CDO last week documenting another training. I saw Xavier University pero wala akong chance na mabisita si Fr.Nudas, former prof ko sa UP. I’ll be there again next and hopefully mabisita ko siya.

Fr. Nudas is with us here in Loyola House of Studies. He is in the Infirmary.

Kaya pala di sya nagrereply sa email ko. Hopefully madalaw ko siya sa infirmary ninyo one of these days.

If ever that you visit him, I am not sure if he would be able to recognize you. One time, when he was a little bit better than now, I conversed with him. And, he finds it difficult to (1) recall names and (2) he was always at a loss for words. Quite ironic for a man who had been very much in love with words.

Oo nga, pero walang problema kung di nya ako makilala. Dami ko dapat ipagpasalamat sa kanya.



Like ones shadow, most of the good that we do are left unseen by our eyes. Bless the people whose goodness touches others without him or her knowing it.

Pick Up Your Mat!

Reflection for
This Month's Recollection
Mark 2: 1-12
18 September 2005

I say to you, rise, pick up your mat, and go...

I have been a Jesuit for the past four years. One of the things that I realized is – it is far easier to remain on my mat, on my comfort zone. Nothing can be more soothing than being guarded and protected even by my own hurts and pains. At times, I can reason to myself, "he did me wrong… so I will no longer reach out to him." Or, "I was offended with what she did to me… I will make her feel that she does not exist." It is easier for me to remain on my mat, in the comfort of my own pain. It is just hard to forgive the wrong things others did to us. But if there is one grace that I would beg for, it is the deep realization of God's forgiveness.

When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, "Your sins are forgiven."

I think what made it easier for the paralytic to rise and walk is the assurance from Christ that his sins were forgiven.

How many times have I not forgiven others?
How many times have I not forgiven myself?

Probably, I can look at Christ like that of the paralytic's and hear the Lord say to us, "Your sins are forgiven."

Oral Exams Tomorrow in Philo of Science

I prepared a reviewer. I recorded it in the MP3. I read and listened to it in the library, in my room, while jogging, while attending a different class, while transferring from one classroom to the other, while having my teeth cleaned by the dentist. Nothing is seeping in. I am desperate and tired and bothered. BUKAS NA ANG EXAM!!!

I heard Mass just a minute or two ago. Fr. Ferriols presided it. He was finding it difficult to lift the consecrated Body and Blood of Christ. Pero tuloy pa rin siya sa Misa. Mukhang nahihirapan siya pero nagsusumikap para sa Diyos.

Sana biyayang iyon makamtan ko rin... magsumikap para sa Diyos.

Are you thirsting for God?

Scholastics in Action...

Two Hours with UP-ICTUS

I left Dagani House at around 8:00 a.m. to be on time for a short talk on Catechism with the members of UP ICTUS which was supposed to start at 9:00 a.m. I arrived thirty minutes later. There were four of them in the ICTUS Tambayan -- Angel, Wowie, Chingkay and Ron. Actually, I prepared for twenty people. We waited for the others to arrive. We started a few minutes before 10 at Fr. Jboy's pad with the addition of Don -- Ron's twin brother. While the workshop was going, Nikki arrived. Thirty minutes before noon, the rest came -- Joyce, Sima, Aiza, Thomas, Reggie, Monci...

Honestly, I felt good after facilitating their workshop. They are giving great service to the community and to the Church at large. Teaching catechism is no easy task. I have been doing it since College -- it is definitely no walk in the park. But they are so committed and so passionate with the things that they are doing. I hope and pray that they would continue to exude the love they have for the people of God and for His Church. May God bless them always!

ad maiorem Dei gloriam!!!

The Crucified Christ: A Terrible Sight

A friend of mine was asked by the Campus Ministry to design the backdrop of the stage for this year's baccalaureate Mass. I saw the design. I found it to be simple yet very striking. It was a portrait that had the sun setting while the crucified Christ was hanging at the left side. When it was presented to the leaders of the university, one of the deans commented that the sight was 'depressing.' The dean, so moved or so appalled, suggested to have it removed or changed.

I agree with the dean when he (or she) said that the cross was something that is depressing -- disturbing, overwhelming as a matter of fact. But I could not resonate with the idea of having it removed.

I feel that we had have so much of feel-good-things to the point that we forget to value the more enduring ones.

Sometimes when we are caught up by the sufferings of the world, we easily fold up or fly away.

Prayer Points for the Paschal Triduum

Paschal Triduum
being with the Lord

Grace: My Lord Jesus, I beg for the grace to be present in your suffering, death and resurrection that I may all the more identify my life in you and with you.

Scripural Passages:
Jn 13:1-15, Last Supper
Jn 18:1-19:42, the Passion of our Lord
Mt. 28:1-10, the Resurrection of our Lord

Points:

1. Take time with your Lord. Set at least an hour of prayer time with him during the days of the Paschal Triduum.
2. Read the scripture passages. Enter into the scene of each of the passages (or, you may opt to prayerfully watch Mel Gibson’s the Passion of Christ).
3. What significant events did you find? Why did you find it to be significant? What feelings surfaced?
4. Go back to those events and feelings. In what way does this bring you closer to (or farther from) your God?
5. End your prayer by asking yourself these questions: What have I done for Christ? What am I doing for Christ? What will I do for Christ?

a pilgrim's journey

A Pilgrim’s Journey

The Road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.
Now far ahead the Road has gone,
And I must follow, if I can,

In every journey one takes, the struggle comes not in the act of opening the door but in making that first step. It holds true for all the crossroads of one’s life. The challenging part in the act of making choices is not on making the choice per se but on seeing that choice to fruition. When I made the decision to go on pilgrimage to the shrine of Manaoag on foot from Bocaue, Bulacan to Pangasinan the road was paved and frequently traveled but it was a trudge that almost crippled me from pursuing and reaching the very goal that I had set.

Rai and I dropped off from the bus along McArthur Highway in Bocaue, Bulacan. There we started our long, long, long, very long journey. It took us almost six days to cover the pilgrimage. We walked from six in the morning till six in the evening. And, it was no walk in the park. We trudged under the heat of the deadening sun. The paddies that pedicured the sides of the road seemed more like a dessert than a rice plantation. The heat was just too much.

The money we had in our pockets was just enough to buy bus tickets for our way back. For our food and shelter, we begged for it. It was not easy to beg for food. With our filthy and squalid aura, there were people who tended to veer away from us. We were stinking. We were awful. We were sordid. And, it was far more difficult to look for shelter in the evening. With our faces, there were people who tended to suspect us. The rejections we experienced was just too much.

The exhaustion of the very journey itself pronounced to a great detail the very limits of my physical strength. A time came, which was more often than not, that I needed to literally push my body to make a step or two. It was very debilitating. It was very difficult. But it was a struggle that I needed to make even though the exhaustion was too much.

Indeed the journey proved to be a very challenging one. Beset by the onslaught of nature, the suspicions of other people and burdened by my own vulnerability, the goal became blurred and clouded. Yet the very desire to see and reach the Shrine fueled my soul to persevere and see that the choice that I made find its fruition.

Pursuing it with eager feet,
Until it joins some larger way
Where many paths and errands meet.
And whither then? I cannot say.

– The Lord of the Rings